Boys to Men

(Posted on special request)

In some of our African societies, the title man is earned and not merely the result of attaining a certain age. The crowning moment for participants is when a young man is taken through an elaborate ceremony which culminates in them becoming entitled to the rights and privileges that accompany the status of being an African male adult. Those who take shortcuts or make any attempt to avoid going through this rite of passage that graduates boys to men are in most instances referred to in derogatory terms as cowardly boys up to old age. Girls and women, through subtle messages, are advised to shun getting married to such as they are not man enough.The societal pressure is all over with the ceremony held in high regard such that some use it as one of the key tests towards political leadership. Local artists are not left behind on this. They further rub it in by composing music with tunes laden with deep messages emphasizing the importance of undergoing the passage. Ultimate heroism is demonstrated when a boy undergoes the cut without any reported drama or hullabaloo. One is crowned a real man when they face the knife devoid of anesthesia without flinching, making any noise, body movement, or fear despite the associated excruciating pain of the process. The message is clear and the pressure so overwhelming that both parents and their boys have no option but to undergo the passage as laid down in the cultural tenets. Thus, it becomes a sense of pride to undergo the rite and specifically under the village surgeon’s knife to avoid the apparent ostracization and demeaning by society.

 

Boys` circumcision, a long-held practice that has been observed for centuries and full of many dos and don’ts, is held regularly at intervals of approximately seven years. Referring to one of the sub-tribes found in Western Kenya, East Africa, neither the government nor religious leaders dare interfere when ongoing. To ensure that there is full compliance especially from the womenfolk, there are spelt out consequences for breaches. The consequences could include allegations of falling victim to a bad omen such as long-term mysterious diseases, life misfortunes, and a host of other supernaturally driven negative occurrences. Such incidences are rare but to avoid wading into the unknown and the related controversies, most families choose the convenient option of simply walking this narrow path. The circumciser is carefully chosen by the committee of elders who carry out their due diligence to ensure that their boys are handled by someone of repute. An abrasive, callous and reckless alcoholic may not pass this critical test since it is a critical procedure affecting very sensitive parts of the body.

 

At the end of seven years, the wait is over and preparations get into top gear. Across the village ridges and valleys, the air of excitement can be felt in the atmosphere more so for the involved families. The boys who are the candidates, in this case, are filled with anxiety but eager to cross that key rubicon. The venue for the operation is usually a chosen forest or bushland preferably near a river. The day`s activities are a men-only affair and hardly do women suffice anywhere apart from preparing meals. Widows and single mothers with sons have no option but to appoint a special male relative to step in when the need arises. On the morning of the very day boys, who will have undergone haircuts on the previous day, will bid their family and relatives goodbye especially the women folk whom they will not meet eye to eye until they are fully recovered and officially released back to their families. Their month-long isolation is prepared in advance with a hut built at a location away from their home to host them under the care of an identified male caretaker. Their father and the appointed caretaker will escort them to the venue with each carrying a shawl which becomes part of their daily clothing for the period they are still healing as using pants or tight clothing for their lower abdomen is not advisable. At the bushy venue, they will be led in a queue towards the very spot where the deed is taking place but shielded from viewing what is happening there for obvious reasons. The tensed boys are obstructed from seeing the ghastly bloody sights that can easily scare them. Loud songs are sung by the men filing along with the boys on the queue ostensibly to celebrate the occasion though one gets quickly to understand that it is a distraction tactic to keep them focused and drain down any noise that would come in from those who would scream in pain.

 

Residing in the hut with the group of boys will be the caretaker who, besides taking care of their wellbeing, is their mentor into manhood. The hut venue is a place far away from home has its toilet and washroom built to avoid mixing the boys and other members of the public. The one-month-long period is meant to effectively keep them away from their mothers, sisters, and any other female members of society. The caretaker monitors their healing progress, bathes them daily as they are assumed to carry a wound, and cannot take care of even their hygiene on their own. He is responsible for the reporting of any unusual occurrences e.g. boys bleeding excessively after the cut. This will be reported to the boys’ father or any other male relative for further redress. Besides spending long hours just idling, the boys on their way to recovery will be tasked with the responsibility of embarking on the preparations for their graduation ceremony. This includes moving out at particular times to sneak into bushes to get certain woods or specialized rods for making walking sticks. A walking stick will be a prerequisite on their graduation day. Occasionally to cover for the idle time the boys can be taken out for dances together with their younger sisters especially those who are yet to attain puberty age. This happens at night for some areas while for others it is during the day. The attire and regalia they put on may vary from one community to another. Along the roads and paths, they pass the older women folk are usually advised to give way by taking the alternative route or hide away till they have passed lest a bad omen befalls them.

 

The big day for the boys comes when they rejoin their families on the day they leave for the graduation ceremony. They went into isolation as young children but are now mature men. At that tender age, one month has been a long enough time to have missed their families and the joy of re-uniting is visible. They are now officially allowed to use a walking stick, a symbol of their newly acquired status and a preserve of men in society. They are assumed to now have acquired a more commanding role over the womenfolk. Now as African male adults their duties and responsibilities have been cut out. Society looks up to them as responsible beings to shoulder communal challenges, provide as well as offer direction and solutions to issues in the society. They are now qualified to sit at the high table with older men and other elders during mealtime to not only share a plate of food with them but also contribute to ongoing discussions. It is the time when young men are told not to handle womanly duties in society. They have been taught that cooking and other kitchen duties is a preserve of girls and women and their part ends with availing the food. Behavior-wise, men ought not to step into their parent`s bedrooms unless under special circumstances. The list goes on and on including acquisition of family wealth, protecting the family by fending off attackers, avoiding behaviors like laughing and smiling around aimlessly for this is considered a preserve of the womenfolk. Others include actions like men not being allowed to cook in the African society as such habitual visits to the kitchen should be avoided as much as possible. A man who visited the river should not publicly express fear and should never cry come what may.

 

In the open arena, the graduating boys are accorded a special sitting place, dressed in the best clothes of the day, and are fondly referred to with terms almost similar to that of wedding brides. Speeches are made by the clan and tribal elders exhorting them to preserve family values and called upon to enthusiastically take up the role and mannerisms of men in society. Back home their mothers and sisters prepare special meals and invite relatives and friends to celebrate with them. These guests are expected to shower them with gifts of all sorts as recognition for their newly acquired status. Uncles are a special target for this and are required to offer live animal gifts, especially of the livestock type. It is a great day indeed for the boys and family. Those circumcised during the season are classified as age mates and given a name that would coincide with any major event happening in society at that time. The process of asserting their independence from their parents begins here when they are advised to consider initiating constructing of their own first house.

 

 

Practices may vary from one region to another as older ones keep being abandoned and modernity sets it. The main principle that remains is that a man must undergo the cut without anesthesia to prove their mettle. Usually, a key identifier as to whether one has qualified to be a man is when he can identify his agemates grouping and their naming. The writer has captured events as and when this was carried out in the 1970s before the entry of HIV Aids and Covid-19. It is an acknowledged fact that both diseases and the factor of time have greatly altered the manner and events surrounding circumcision practices in several communities. It is an indeed arduous journey before one qualifies to become a man in some communities on the African continent.